Check Mate...

Okay so yes it happened again. I let myself get into the best place I’ve been for a while, one thing can happen to turn that on its head and things just start to snowball. 

One thing to knock my confidence, to set things off balance and suddenly everything seems just a little bit worse. I start to worry about what everybody thinks and I just lose my way with words. Not only with writing but in day to day life, I retreat into myself and I struggle to make normal conversations. To even think about what I want to say, so instead I stumble on my words and my mind goes blank. Worst. Feeling. Ever. 

Luckily, after suffering from anxiety for almost three years now, (bloody hell) I know trigger signs and how to prevent the inevitable getting any worse. 

This is why it’s hard to keep consistent with this. I took these pictures over a month ago (hence the fab tan and sunny setting), before things didn’t go exactly to plan and just like that it all gets put on hold until I can sort my head out and myself out, until I get the confidence again to post anything. 

Although anxiety has somewhat become “trendy” now with everyone and anyone seeming to be a sufferer, it’s incredible how many people have begun discussing it. It’s now normal to not always feel okay and I’m pleased that 2018 seems to be the year of people opening up about their struggles and battles with mental health. Especially with Mental Health Awareness day occurring last week, it was so apparent how many people, even if they don’t suffer, raising awareness for those who do, to open up, reach out to friends and don’t hide away. 

I can massively fall victim to this. I’ll put on a brave face, pretend I’m okay, go out and get pissed with my friends, then suffer with my own mind all by myself. I’ve only just started to open up to my friends about how I feel, because to be honest, that is what friends are for and if you can’t tell them and rely on your friends then what’s the point in having them? I no longer have to feel the impending doom that my mind likes to make me experience everyday. I feel better and (as cliche as it is) I feel like focusing on the positives is what it’s all about! 

To do this I’ve started clearing out my back room to start filming videos, made a list of blog posts I want to write and beauty products I want to review, I’ve downloaded a 12 week half marathon programme on Aaptiv to get me focused for the next 3 months on my fitness and use running as a sort of meditation, a time that I literally switch off and encourage all those endorphins that after a run make me feel bloody great! Bonus. 

I also started a new job in the last month which to be honest, is amazing. I’m meeting new people and get to spend my day doing what I love and getting creative with PR! 

I feel this is a bit of a nonchalant blog and a situation that didn't really need to be addressed but to be honest, i'm still struggling to put my thoughts down and hone in on the witty sense of styled writing that I want to succumb to., so wasn't really sure what else to post about but knew I wanted to just write something and this is what has come out! It's okay though.

I’ve spent the month putting things into perspective really, because although we may sometimes tell ourselves otherwise...life is pretty fucking good, I just need to keep appreciating that! 

In other news though, how cute is this Jumpsuit? I got a size larger than I would normally due to the fact I always find jumpsuits too small on my bottom half and the top being fine...this is the life of a girl with a big booty and no boobs. Anyway, it's super comfy and had a denim sort of material so knew it would be something that would last! What's more,  I've left it so long to post anything about it it's now on sale for almost half price (: find it on ASOS via the link below!

|| Jumpsuit is ASOS ||